LM Monday #7

Little man received a package from Iraq. He was far more excited about the box and the paper it was wrapped in then he was about the gift inside.

Don't let this picture fool you. Little man's favorite things to do with crayons are 1)eat them and 2) walk around the house with them to see how many things he can narrowly avoid coloring while his Mom nervously follows behind him.

On a side note, can someone please tell me where my baby went? This little boy has been showing up in all of my pictures lately.

Peek in the window

After getting rained out of our afternoon walk LM and I went to the package store to pick up some milk. We took three steps into the store and LM D.E.M.A.N.D.E.D. to be put down. Because he was screaming in the middle of the store and the only people besides he and I not in uniform was the cashier I obliged. He, surprisingly, took my hand and walked down the aisle. He walked straight down the aisle to the beer case and screamed his head off when I wouldn't allow him to open the case and, oh I don't know, take out some of the beer. After finally wrangling him back in my arms, he attempted to dive bomb straight to the floor and I was thisclose to dropping him all while the man in front of me took his sweet ass time figuring out if he was going to purchase the Marine Corps Times and which method of payment he was going to use on this very special occassion, where he found himself buying a soda and a bag of chips. Needless to say there was copious amounts of staring and probably an increase in condom sales at this particular package store this afternoon.

Footlocker

As we approached home this afternoon I checked the front door to see if a small package had been delivered from UPS. I quickly learned that there was something else at my door. A large green footlocker with an airbill and customs forms straight from Iraq. There it sat, proof that this is almost over; 3M is almost home. Soon there will be no more packages, no more emails, no more phone calls, and sleepless nights. Soon we will again be a family. This glorious box in all of it's ugliness and heaviness was the best thing I have seen in a long time.

I can hardly believe that it has almost been a year. We have gone 332 days in this deployment. Just writing that is unbelievable. Sometimes it seems like a lifetime, others like a flash. The green footlocker sitting in my foyer is proof that we are almost safe, that my prayers are almost answered that my hero will be making his way home soon.

LM Monday #6

Mother Nature

3M and I moved to our current duty station four months before a major hurricane made landfall. We managed to ride out that storm with little to no damage. As a result of our good fortune, we believed that we had paid our dues and would be disaster free for at least the rest of our tour here.



A year later we survived two more major storms. Again there was little to no damage. Again we were convinced that we had paid our dues and would be disaster free for at least the rest of our tour here.

The port-a-crapper did not fair as well as we did

Today our town was hit by a tornado. Our town has not been hit by a tornado in at least the last sixty years. Again this time we had no damage, as it missed our part of town. We have however received more than 14 inches of rain and plenty o' lightning.

I am starting to think that there is a distinct possibility that Mother Nature hates us.

Supporting a great cause

Notice the nice shiny yellow ribbon on the sidebar? You should put one up too because MilitaryWidgets.com has decided to donate $20 per every website that displays our Yellow Ribbon to the Fisher House. You can read more about their charity works on the Programs page of their website. All you have to do is email info@militarywidgets.com with your website when the ribbon goes up and theywill make the contribution.

Holiday trauma

Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for when I put him in this Halloween costume...


What the heck am I supposed to do now, other than put him in it every day between now and the squadron Halloween party and hope that he.. ummmmmmm get's used to it??? Any chance that will happen?

I'll keep you posted and perhaps go buy another costume or 12, you know just in case

LM Monday #5

35 random things

Alicia posted this a while ago and I just got around to doing it. You should too!

You have to type the 1ST thing that comes to mind whenever you hear these 35 things. You can't think and go back and change your answers. Copy and Paste, then delete answers to make them your own.

1. [Beer] - fridge in the sunroom, complete with Marine Corps tap

2. [Shoe] - LM can you find your shoe please?

3. [Relationships] - are perfect when they are meant to be.

4. [Purple] - is a fruit. I love her blog!

5. [Power Rangers] - loved the pink one!!

6. [Weed] - gives me visions of Curly sitting on his front porch smoking it just because he can, even if he doesn't know if he'll like it :)

7. [Steroids] - bad college boyfriend

8. [Cartoons] - wish LM would watch them

9. [The President] - for good or bad is my husband's Commander in Chief

10. [Tupperware] - my Mom was on a tupperware-a-torium when we were kids

11. [Florida] - is my home

12. [Santa Claus] - will bring my husband home safe this year

13. [Halloween] - what the hell is LM going to be?

14. [Bon Jovi] - gotta love a Jersey boy!

15. [Grammar] - hides its head in shame after reading this blog

16: [Myspace] - is not for me

17. [Worst fear] - 3M not returning home to us

18. [Marriage] - is the best thing that ever happened to me

19. [Paris Hilton] - get a real job

20. [Patrick] - Dempsey

21. [Redheads] - bar in NJ

22. [Blondes] - bad idea when I was in college

23. [Pass the] - time until 3M is home

24. [One night stand] - no thanks!

25. [Donald Trump] - bad hair

26. [Neverland] - Michael Jackson's sick place

27. [Pixie stix] - yuck!!

28. [Vanilla ice cream] - not as good as chocolate

29. [Hooters] - the one in Cancun is S.C.A.R.Y.

30. [High school] - is something I am so glad is over

31. [Pajamas] - means it's almost bedtime!!

32. [Woods] - my neighbor's last name

33. [Wet Socks] - gross!

34. [Computer] - is how I keep in touch with 3M. keeps me sane

35. [Love] -can overcome anything

Open Letters

Dear API students,
I am sorry that while you were in formation our stroller was being attacked by a killer dragon fly and therefore I was running and flailing in six million directions causing you to lose focus and laugh which caused you to get screamed at by a drill instructor. I hope that said drill instructor remembered to brush his teeth this morning. Sorry.

Dear Across the street neighbor,
I am very sorry that you are getting a divorce. It must suck to have your wife leave you with three children. However, do you think it would be possible for you to go inside once and a while inside of sitting on the weight bench in your garage watching TV with your friends who's cars have incredibly loud stereos that turn on right outside of LM's window? I am sure you have a perfectly nice couch somewhere in your house.

Dear neighbors who live next door to the across the street neighbors,
Hi, how are you? Good I hope. I know that you have very stressful jobs, what with being a stripper and a bartender at a strip club, but do you think it would be possible for you to mow your lawn, oh I don't know, sometime this year?

Dear check out lady at Wal-mart,
Yes, I do have a picture of my husband on my necklace. Yes, he is in Iraq. No, I don't want to hear your ridiculous opinion about the state of our government or how you think that Rosie O'Donnell says it best when she describes why we shouldn't be in the war; I want to pay for my stupid groceries and go home before I smack the ever-loving shit out of you.

Dear Forrest Gump of my town,
It is really nice that you run down the main highway everyday and give people the peace sign. That is a great idea. Just curious, don't you ever get tired and just want to take the bus, oh and what kind of sneakers do you where because clearly I should get myself a pair because they must provide excellent cushioning and support?

Beep, beep

At 4:45 this morning I was awoken by the sound of a beep. It was a weird, not very loud beep. It didn't scare the pants off me or make me jump from the bed like the burglar alarm would but there it was again, a beep. I laid in bed in a semi-conscious state and listened for the noise again.

Crap, I know what that beep is! It's the stupid beep on the smoke detector telling us lowly house dwellers that it is time to change the battery. You know the beep, it is the one that doesn't turn off until you do as it requests. The last time this happened it was the middle of the afternoon and I was completely perplexed as to how to fix this problem; not this time though. Ha, stupid smoke alarm you thought you had me- how wrong you are I have learned lessons, I can solve problems. This time I shall go to the hall closet get a battery, change you and head back to bed.

I moseyed my way to the hall closet, turned on the light and got the package of batteries. Half way back I realized I had the wrong kind of batteries. That's right stupid smoke alarm I am smart, you need a 9-volt battery. So off I went back to the hall closet to get a 9-volt battery. I opened the door, looked around. No 9-volt battery!

As the beep continued I had a thought; one of LM's toys must use a 9-volt battery. So I traipsed myself into the sunroom, turned on the light and began sifting through the freaking toys. No, not you Winnie; no, you won't help either computer; no, blocks don't have batteries. Dinosaur toy... thanks anyway.

Okay, no batteries there. Ah ha, there is a battery in the keypad on the outside of the garage door. Shit, that means I have to go outside. That also means that I have to put real clothes on, you know, just in case one of my neighbors is out unscrewing things from the outside of their home at 5 in the morning.

I got dressed, headed for the garage to get a screw driver, opened the front door and ran like hell with the phone in my hand just in case I had to call 911 because someone was waiting outside my door because they knew that I would be unscrewing batteries from the wall at precisely 5:00am walked to the garage and unscrewed the face plate to get the battery. Battery in hand- Take that stupid smoke detector, I'll show you.

I hopped up on a chair, pulled out the beeping battery and put in the new one. I was now officially the smartest woman I know (clearly, I have very low standards). I walked back to get in bed, was two steps from hopping in,

BEEP, BEEP.

You have got to be kidding me. This can not be happening. Ok, I can handle this. After all I am an adult who is facing a measly smoke detector. I have an idea; I shall unplug the entire thing from the wall. I grabbed the chair again, reached for the smoke detector, unplugged it from the wall, put it on the computer desk, walked to the bed,

BEEP, BEEP.

Ok, seriously you are UNPLUGGED! How in the hell can you still be beeping? This is not happening. As I sat on the edge of the bed teetering awfully close to a meltdown I realized that I should just give up. I am an adult, a bona-fide grown-up. I have been raising a child on my own for almost 10 months. If I can do survive a deployment surely I can force myself to ignore the beeping and go back to sleep. Yes, that is what I will do; like a Jedi-mind trick.

I re-plugged in the smoke detector closed the door to prevent some of the beeping noise from infiltrating my room and climbed into bed. I was pumped, I could do this- I could will myself back to sleep because by God I was an adult.

No beeping.

No beeping at all.

Totally stopped beeping.

Figures.

Where's Waldo- 3M edition

Smile

LM Monday #4- Video Edition

I finally finished the last video for LM's first year. Sorry it is four months late.



Little man from ERIN on Vimeo.

No Go

The offer is a no go. After much discussion 3M and I have decided that we would both feel better moving after he returns; well really he would feel better and it is kind of hard to tell your husband, who is currently living in a bombed out building in Fallujah, that you don't agree.

We did make a counter offer to our buyer , who is a single man moving here from Atlanta (Hey Darrell, how are you???) in hopes of saving the deal. We asked him to wait until December and offered money towards his living expenses payable at closing. My realtor and his realtor said it was an "enticing offer" and they thought we would be able to work something out.

Darrell said no. He said he didn't want to wait that long.

Why, Darrell? Our offer is enticing!!!! Didn't you listen to your realtor (who by the way was slightly creepy and used a contract that hasn't been used in our county since 1995)?? Your realtor is a smart man; you should listen to him! You are a single man. You can live anywhere for a few months. We are going to write you a check, a real live actual check, just for waiting a few extra weeks. But no... you have to be Mr. difficult. Perhaps I really should call you Mr. WTF. Instead you are going to keep looking and see if you can find something else and if you can't then you will "re-visit" our offer.

Fine, be that way.

While you are out crushing my dreams of having a bigger house with a pool looking at other houses I would like you to remember a few things:

You can totally see the water, from the backyard. Dude, you will not find that in other neighborhoods. That and the grass is expensive as hell to maintain green, really green.

There are no stupid chick colors in this house, so as to prevent your stupid fragile male ego from having to pee in a pink bathroom. You are welcome!

I planted flowers!!! Do you have any idea how much I hate planting flowers?!?!?!

Offer part two

Also known as currently Erin is having a panic attack because she is a TERRIBLE waiter and she is trying to talk to her husband about this while he is, oh in a warzone. Umm, so yeah.. feeling quite stressed out about this whole house thing and he is not answering emails; doesn't he know this is more important that what is going on in Iraq. Tisk, tisk.

We counter offered Mr. WTF and he came back with another offer. This new offer has a really good price but he wants to close November 1st.

Closing November 1st is giving my heart burn. Not hearing from my husband is giving me heartburn. Writing about this on the internet as if I will somehow jinx it.. you guessed it, giving me heartburn. (On a sidenote, I don't know if it is exactly giving my heartburn because I don't know that I have ever had heartburn but it is giving me something that isn't so fun).

So, currently we have an offer on the table, to which they want a yes or no. They do not want a counter offer. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed at the prospect of arranging and conducting a move all by myself and my husband is currently MIA. That and LM has been sleeping for almost three hours!!!

Holy Sh*t- update below

My realtor is coming by with an offer for our house....

More to come

UPDATE:

Change that to WTF were these people thinking. Over 30k less than asking price and they want to move in by the 15th... OF THIS MONTH.

Not so much.. wish us luck as we counter-offer.