Dear someone/anyone who may be listening,
Please return to me the little boy who used to take 2 naps that lasted 2 hours each. You may return him as a boy who takes 1 nap, if you so chose, but please, for the love of all things holy, make that nap last longer than one hour.
The wife who's husband has been deployed for nine freaking months and is about to lose the last piece of sanity that she was clinging to
p.s. do you think you could also advise my dog that it is, in fact, possible to bark in places other than right in front of the little boy's room, or perhaps not at all.